dear 2009

the hardest thing for me is to walk away from something good. the way i see it, when you walk away, when you end it, it becomes a memory. and memories can never compete with experiences. you have been one of the most difficult years so far because you’ve brought a series of endings.

today i’ll go through one of the toughest. i’ve been preparing for it, but i don’t think any mental exercise will compare to the real world version. it’s the ending of a tradition, a long standing ritual in my life, that i took for granted since i was a child.

sure i bitched and moaned that it felt like a burden at times, but i took solace in the fact that it would always happen. never before have i been so saddened by an inaccurate assessment i’ve made.

the worst part is, i don’t know how it will end. will the physical finale precede the mental closure? will there be a new ritual created in a vain attempt to quickly replace the old? will my saturday afternoons feel forever empty the way the mornings have become?

i’m off to discover what it feels like to say goodbye to familiarity and comfort.

dabda 2010, here i come.

Tags: 2009, 2010, endings, new year's, sadness, traditions